Sunday, July 25, 2010

What advice can be given to a mother of two (both under age 4), who's husband wants to go Special Forces?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of being SF and having a family?


What are some suggestions and advice that can be given to the spouse of a SF man?


Is SF really worth it and will it bring a benefit to the family as a whole or just the soldier?What advice can be given to a mother of two (both under age 4), who's husband wants to go Special Forces?
advantages


all depends on the Mission


special pay


disadvantages


high death rate


lose a lot more time with your family


the army has a high ptsd rate





advise


dont worry


stay true to yourself and him


be prepared


benefits kinda 25/75 some just for him other for the whole familyWhat advice can be given to a mother of two (both under age 4), who's husband wants to go Special Forces?
Thank you to all who responded. Drillwifey I appreciate your personal testimony of being a SF wife too.

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my husband decided he wanted to try to go in SF and to be honest i told him i would put up with alot of crap with the army but i would not do that to my kids that he had to decide family or SF ...i could not live knowing he could leave at anytime be gone for who knows how long never see or talk to him `and have him come home and most likely him leave again ..he choice me and the kids but its not a life for kids its bad enough having him get deployed all the time ...i cant think of one advantage there could be to it besides making your husband happy
It does have advantages and disadvantages. On the bad side, he will be in plenty of schools and deployments, keeping him away from home more, but on the positive side, the SF community is very family oriented. There are plenty of family events and programs to ensure you are getting all you need while he is away.
We have a big family and my husband is looking to go SF.


The major reasons for us are:





His mos is combat and he deploys al the time anyway doing really dangerous stuff





We'd rather he deploy for shorter lengths of time, more pay and with people who know what they're doing





We'd like a permanent duty station and the closeness of group wives during deployments.





He likes that hooah-hooah stuff.





I have a ton of friends from Ft Lewis that are SF wives. Sure their husbands are gone a lot, but aren't all combat soldiers right now? SF guys tend to be quirky and their wives have to be pretty independent from what I can tell. That's probably true with most combat jobs.
Very dangerous, I am not trying to be evil, but when I tried out for the SEALs I went and bought a ton of extra life insurance. Sadly, I wrecked my knee in training and while I got to stay til retirement I never got to be one of the elites. I had a wife and 6 kids at the time. Wanted my wife and family well covered, kept the coverage until the kids grew up and I retired.
It is good that there are people courageous enough to do that sort of work, but for a wife the constant worry is going to be difficult to live with, maybe you need to make sure your man is well insured in case something happen to him and you are left on your own to bring up the children.
only advantage of special forces over a normal military job is the slight chance of getting a bonus. Other than that. you have a increased chance of dieing. your always deployed. SF are not really family type jobs. He will always be gone.
If he does this, my advice would be to divorce him and look for a spouse who wants to help raise your kids. I hope that they wouldn't even accept a parent of two kids under 4.
well if your already married to the army and you like the nice steady paycheck on the 1st and the 15th then i bet you a million that your going to love the paycheck even more when he finishes all required training and stuff
Let him do what he wants to do, not letting could have him resent you and make your marriage suffer...
Relax.

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